Beauty And The Mamma- The Day It All Changed

 

 

It was the morning I woke up with a concoction of breast milk, hormonal sweat, and baby vomit in my hair that I knew my life had changed dramatically. For most people, I am sure the epiphany came when they found out they were pregnant, or perhaps the first time they saw their little ones face. You see, I knew my life had changed, but I was really resistant to it.  I loved my daughter more than life it’s self, but I didn’t want anything to change about me. I am the girly girl, the kind that enjoys doing my makeup, putting together sweet outfits, and going to Sephora regularly to just breath in the fragrance of cosmetics. That is also the reason why I am a beauty blogger and makeup artist.

I was terrified (literally) of being that mom, the one that wear’s sweatpants 75% of the time and throws her hair up into some concoction of a home made birds nest. I didn’t want to become the mom that has the “mom voice” that lingers even after the kids are in bed. I wanted to still be me! So I made a decision, I would wake up everyday, take a shower, do my hair, put on my makeup, pull together something cute to wear and get out of the house to avoid becoming this person. But the problem was that I was suffering from sleep depravation, breasts that were filling up like milk jugs, and all the other post birth “fun” that no one decided to tell me about.  I felt less than normal, I felt completely abnormal. My own personal pressure was getting exhausting, not to mention it was so easy to flip through a magazine (even a parenting one) and see all of the celebs with their little babies hanging on them like a hot designer bag and feel completely defeated. How do their bodies zip up to a size zero in one flippin week? Really?

Well it was that very morning I told you about that humbled me, changed my perspective and slapped me into reality. I was exhausted from a sleepless night, but I still took a shower (as I smelled like death) and afterwards, I climbed into my sweatpants, wrapped my hair into the “bird-like” nest, and didn’t bother doing my makeup. I had to choose right then to embrace the good and the bad of this new adventure and laugh at the fact that my clothes were going to get dirty from spit up (and other things), my eyes were going to have bags under them for a while, and I might actually be rocking that mommy pony in some serious style more days then not. I needed to embrace the joy of the change of becoming a mom and learn how to still be the girly “me” while navigating this new role of motherhood. I need to take a “que” from women who have blazed the way before me and glean from their experiences, not judge them.  I clearly still love beauty and fashion, getting dolled up and feeling cute….I just know now that it’s okay to have sweatpants days.

JOIN THE LIST!
Are you on The List? Join the Citizens of Beauty newsletter for insider events, behind the scenes photos, and exclusive beauty tips and tricks to your inbox!
We hate spam. Your email address will not be sold or shared with anyone else.
Tags from the story
, , ,
  • Ana

    I so love your heart! You just spoke to many woman out there that feel the same way. Including me. We never truley intend to loose our selves in the midst of the amazing journey of raising children……But for a time we just kinda do I guess……its the best self sacrifice we can make! It just means we emrace it as the new Mamma Swag ( sweats, pony, and all) LOL! For me, I now just learn to appreciate the time I get to get all dolled up way more and I feel like that lil peice of me ( the glam girl) comes alive again. Its so fun! Thanks for always being so real, Love ya!

    • Anonymous

      word of the day, “mamma swag,” love it! You are so right on, and its only for a season.

  • Ana

    I so love your heart! You just spoke to many woman out there that feel the same way. Including me. We never truley intend to loose our selves in the midst of the amazing journey of raising children……But for a time we just kinda do I guess……its the best self sacrifice we can make! It just means we emrace it as the new Mamma Swag ( sweats, pony, and all) LOL! For me, I now just learn to appreciate the time I get to get all dolled up way more and I feel like that lil peice of me ( the glam girl) comes alive again. Its so fun! Thanks for always being so real, Love ya!

  • Ana

    I so love your heart! You just spoke to many woman out there that feel the same way. Including me. We never truley intend to loose our selves in the midst of the amazing journey of raising children……But for a time we just kinda do I guess……its the best self sacrifice we can make! It just means we emrace it as the new Mamma Swag ( sweats, pony, and all) LOL! For me, I now just learn to appreciate the time I get to get all dolled up way more and I feel like that lil peice of me ( the glam girl) comes alive again. Its so fun! Thanks for always being so real, Love ya!

  • Ana

    I so love your heart! You just spoke to many woman out there that feel the same way. Including me. We never truley intend to loose our selves in the midst of the amazing journey of raising children……But for a time we just kinda do I guess……its the best self sacrifice we can make! It just means we emrace it as the new Mamma Swag ( sweats, pony, and all) LOL! For me, I now just learn to appreciate the time I get to get all dolled up way more and I feel like that lil peice of me ( the glam girl) comes alive again. Its so fun! Thanks for always being so real, Love ya!

  • Living in Grace

    I am 17 years down the road from those days (although I still rock that mom ponytail, among other things, to this day) but remember them like yesterday. Only when my daughter was 7 months old, I discovered I was 2 months on with my son….

    A blessing, yes. Did it rock my entire world. Heck yeah.

    But I can reassure you that you will survive. WIth new and different priorities, that will change day over day, year over year.

    It doesn’t stop when they stop pooping on you or throwing up on you (do they ever stop that?). It just changes.

    And become more beautiful every day until you find yourself looking down the final days of them at home, needing you daily (or so you want to think). And you think back and wish you could go back to those days of spit and poopy diapers and baggy eyes and fear of the unknown. And cherish it. Every minute of smelling like death.

    Those days never come back.

    So, enjoy every minute. That is all I can say.

  • Living in Grace

    I am 17 years down the road from those days (although I still rock that mom ponytail, among other things, to this day) but remember them like yesterday. Only when my daughter was 7 months old, I discovered I was 2 months on with my son….

    A blessing, yes. Did it rock my entire world. Heck yeah.

    But I can reassure you that you will survive. WIth new and different priorities, that will change day over day, year over year.

    It doesn’t stop when they stop pooping on you or throwing up on you (do they ever stop that?). It just changes.

    And become more beautiful every day until you find yourself looking down the final days of them at home, needing you daily (or so you want to think). And you think back and wish you could go back to those days of spit and poopy diapers and baggy eyes and fear of the unknown. And cherish it. Every minute of smelling like death.

    Those days never come back.

    So, enjoy every minute. That is all I can say.

    • Anonymous

      So true! I know that I will never get these moments back with her! But it is funny to see how the shift happens. I am enjoying it, it just looks a bit different than I thought. But what part of life isn’t like that? Thank you for your comment!

  • Mandy

    Love your honesty as usual friend!!  You are a rockin’ mama no matter if you rock the sweat pant mama look or the glammer gal get up!!  You are setting a great example for your sweet girl.

    • Anonymous

      thanks Mandy! That is very kind of you.

  • Shauna

    I adore everything about this post!! Kendra, you said it all so well.

  • Melissa

    Written perfectly!

  • Tara

    What I love about this is that you highlight that, for all of us, being “me” eventually morphs. Not into being someone we don’t want to be – but into being someone who is brave enough to let the priorities of life shift when they are supposed to. We don’t stop being who we are, but we are inevitably invited to grow into someone who sees life a bit differently than we used to. That’s grace. And that is beautiful.