It was the morning I woke up with a concoction of breast milk, hormonal sweat, and baby vomit in my hair that I knew my life had changed dramatically. For most people, I am sure the epiphany came when they found out they were pregnant, or perhaps the first time they saw their little ones face. You see, I knew my life had changed, but I was really resistant to it. I loved my daughter more than life it’s self, but I didn’t want anything to change about me. I am the girly girl, the kind that enjoys doing my makeup, putting together sweet outfits, and going to Sephora regularly to just breath in the fragrance of cosmetics. That is also the reason why I am a beauty blogger and makeup artist.
I was terrified (literally) of being that mom, the one that wear’s sweatpants 75% of the time and throws her hair up into some concoction of a home made birds nest. I didn’t want to become the mom that has the “mom voice” that lingers even after the kids are in bed. I wanted to still be me! So I made a decision, I would wake up everyday, take a shower, do my hair, put on my makeup, pull together something cute to wear and get out of the house to avoid becoming this person. But the problem was that I was suffering from sleep depravation, breasts that were filling up like milk jugs, and all the other post birth “fun” that no one decided to tell me about. I felt less than normal, I felt completely abnormal. My own personal pressure was getting exhausting, not to mention it was so easy to flip through a magazine (even a parenting one) and see all of the celebs with their little babies hanging on them like a hot designer bag and feel completely defeated. How do their bodies zip up to a size zero in one flippin week? Really?
Well it was that very morning I told you about that humbled me, changed my perspective and slapped me into reality. I was exhausted from a sleepless night, but I still took a shower (as I smelled like death) and afterwards, I climbed into my sweatpants, wrapped my hair into the “bird-like” nest, and didn’t bother doing my makeup. I had to choose right then to embrace the good and the bad of this new adventure and laugh at the fact that my clothes were going to get dirty from spit up (and other things), my eyes were going to have bags under them for a while, and I might actually be rocking that mommy pony in some serious style more days then not. I needed to embrace the joy of the change of becoming a mom and learn how to still be the girly “me” while navigating this new role of motherhood. I need to take a “que” from women who have blazed the way before me and glean from their experiences, not judge them. I clearly still love beauty and fashion, getting dolled up and feeling cute….I just know now that it’s okay to have sweatpants days.