The Never Enough Mentality

Sometimes I get caught up in the downward spiral of the ‘never enough mentality’. It’s that ugly voice that says no matter what you do, or how hard you work, you will never be quite enough. Do you ever do this? Maybe it’s in the context of your family dynamic, or your friends or your career choice. Maybe you don’t feel like you are living up to the right standards of motherhood.

Whatever your “never enough is” –that mentality is dangerous to your overall growth. Sometimes when I’m in the dumps I need a good kick in the butt. So, if you are struggling with this feeling of inadequacy, let me be your friend for a moment and give you some candid advice.

Whatever your “never enough is” –that mentality is dangerous to your overall growth. Sometimes when I’m in the dumps I need a good kick in the butt. So, if you are struggling with this feeling of inadequacy, let me be your friend for a moment and give you some candid advice.

First off, you are enough and there is only one you. Just one. You are a unique human with unique abilities and qualities. You are the only one that can bring everything that’s the culmination of you to the table. You aren’t a replica, the next best, or second rate. So if you aren’t, then stop living in the mindset that you are.

You and you alone are responsible for what goes on inside your mind. If you have negative thoughts coursing through your brain, that will translate into every arena of your life. What you think on repeat and what you tell yourself is ultimately who you will become. If your thoughts are anything but, “I got this” and “I can do this” and “I am capable”, you will probably slide gradually into the ‘never enough mentality’ and friend, YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Comparison is a killjoy and will wreck the beauty of who you are and what you were created to do on this earth.

The “never enough mentality’ pins you up against someone else whether it’s their success, their financial situation, their looks, their personality. When you start comparing your unique self to someone else’s unique self, one of two things can happen. You either start tearing people down in your mind and rehearse all of the things that they are not to make yourself feel better (jealousy at it’s finest), or you sink into your own personal pity party. Both options are not the greatest, and yet we’ve all done it.

3 Ways to Combat the ‘Never Enough Mentality’

1. Celebrate: One way to fight the Never Enough Mentality is to celebrate other people’s successes. One way to fight this mentality is to choose the opposite of what your natural tendency might be. I have heard people say that when they struggle with comparison, they shut down all social media and avoid the situation that causes the comparison altogether. Well, I don’t believe this is a long-term solution, it’s like putting a bandaid on a bullet hole. Instead of being passive and shutting the world out, people out, life out, go love on and celebrate the very people you find yourself comparing your unique self to the most. Don’t let comparison and jealousy win by isolating you.
I love what Philippians 2:2-4 says: “then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

2. Post it Up: I already said that what you feed your mind about yourself will ultimately define you. One way to combat the Never Enough Mentality is to post up positive reinforcement around you. Write out on postcards why you are unique and what makes you qualified. I have Jeremiah 29:11 tattooed on my arm for this very reason. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

3. Renew Your Mind: This right here is key. If we don’t renew our minds, how can we ever get past this Never Enough Mentality and thrive? When I find myself stuck in a downward spiral, I pray all the more and ask God to renew my mind and my heart. I get out of my head so that I can walk forward with confidence and do what I’m supposed to do on this earth regardless of what others are doing around me.

Philippians 4:8 says this, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

In the end, only you can bring you to the table. So take your unique self into the world and go be who you are created to be and do it without excuse. You got this.

xo,

Kendra